This past Friday night Mrs. Grumpy was out with a friend. So, in the tradition of single dads everywhere, I took the kids out for a gourmet meal at Costco.
This is a surprisingly complex task that involves juggling orders for hot dogs, pizza, chicken bakes, ice cream, churros, and drinks in your head, while sending the kids on a seek-and-destroy mission to find an open table and hope they don't kill an old man eating a hot dog and hide his body under a 50 lbs. bag of dog food in the process.
I found myself in line behind a lady who was torturing the poor 16 year-old kid working the counter, and got to hear this:
Ms. Food: "I can't decide between the pizza or a hot dog."
Counter Guy: "Okay, do you want someone to go ahead of you?"
Ms. Food: "No... Which one has more calories?"
Counter Guy: "Um, not sure... I can look it up."
Ms. Food: "Well, I want something low-calorie."
Counter Guy: "Well, the salad has fewer than either of them."
Ms. Food: "Okay... I'll take a hot dog, with a piece of cheese pizza."
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