That's why they call it a stroke

Although I'm not on call, I somehow ended up getting dragged in to the hospital last night to do a consult.

Mr. Onan: "... Then my right arm just went limp, like a dead weight. I couldn't move it at all."

Dr. Grumpy: "What were you doing when this started?"

Mr. Onan: "I was, um, you know..."

Dr. Grumpy: "No, I don't."

Mr. Onan: "Um... I was masturbating."

Dr. Grumpy: "Oh! Okay. So, when the right arm stopped working, what happened?"

Mr. Onan: "I switched to my left."

Dr. Grumpy: "WHAT?!!! When did you call 911?"

Mr. Onan: "After I finished. Look, doc, Viagra is expensive, and I didn't want it to go to waste."