Today's criminal tip

After you attempt to rob a bank, don't immediately go back to use the ATM.

Thank you, Tanya!

Good to know

Mrs. Definite: "My father died of prostate cancer. But I'm trying not to worry about it because my gynecologist reassured me I don't have one."

Great outdoorsmen

Somehow I don't think it was planned like that.

More from drug companies

This picture:

(click to enlarge)




A. Is an ad for "Monsters vs. Aliens 2"

B. Shows that evil robots and pastel dragons are now approved in the U.S.

C. Makes you wonder what Dr. Grumpy has been smoking.

D. Oh crap, not another Pokemon movie. My kid has enough of that shit already.

E. Is the reason I shouldn't eat grumpyberry pie and ice cream before bed.

F. Is an ad for an epilepsy drug.

Euphemism

Dr. Grumpy: "Any problems on the new medication?"

Mr. Von Braun: "I can raise the missile, but can't launch a warhead."

Money well spent

Mr. Mercury: "I'm always concerned about my blood pressure. I have a blood-pressure machine at home, and I even travel with it."

Dr. Grumpy: "Where do your pressures usually run?"

Mr. Mercury: "I don't know. I've never used it."

Great captcha moments

While commenting on another blog recently, I got this verification word:






I'm trying not to take it personally.