Seen in a hospital chart

Helluva long week.

Saturday afternoon

I'm on the weekend Costco run with Craig.


Mrs. Patient: "Hi, Dr. Grumpy!"

Dr. Grumpy: "Mrs. Patient. Good to see you. Stocking up here, too?"

Mrs. Patient: "Yes, me and my friend Cindy came over to get some things."

Cindy: "This is your neurologist?"

Mrs. Patient: "Yes, it's Dr. Grumpy."

Cindy: "Can you tell me about the vaccination schedule for cats? I was thinking of getting a kitten."

Mrs. Patient: "Dr. Grumpy only treats humans."

Cindy: "Well, he's still a doctor isn't he?"

Craig: "Dad, can I get a pizza sample?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Sure."

Cindy: "You're a doctor and you let your kids eat cheese?"

Mrs. Patient: "Cindy, shut up. I'm sorry, doctor."

It's the word!

Swedish marines stationed in Afghanistan re-enact the classic scene from Grease.

Yes, it did

هذا الملخّص غير متوفِّر. يُرجى النقر هنا لعرض المشاركة.

Mary's desk

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Mrs. Troponin: "I need to make an appointment with Dr. Grumpy."

Mary: "Okay, we can see you next Thursday, at 10:00."

Mrs. Troponin: "That sounds great!"

Mary: "What will you be coming in for?"

Mrs. Troponin: "I'm having chest pain when I go up stairs, and my internist told me to see a cardiologist."

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy is a neurologist. He doesn't see this kind of thing."

Mrs. Troponin: "I know, but I can't find a cardiologist who takes my insurance and can get me in this week."

Mary: "Well, you'll have to call your internist about that... But Dr. Grumpy isn't what you're looking for. I'll cancel the appointment and..."

Mrs. Troponin: "How about if I say I'm coming in for foot numbness or something. Will he treat my chest pain then, if I just kind of mention it?"

Mary: "No. Call your internist."

Seen in a medical journal

This is an advertisement for:

A. The new James Bond flick? Did they fire Daniel Craig?

B. That hot new cologne, eu d'Charcot.

C. Boy, those leather scrubs are really sexy. Wish my neurologist looked like that.

D. The DocMatic electric shaver for when (like this guy) you spent the night on the doctors lounge couch.

E. The sequel to "Hysteria" showing Dr. Granville perfecting his invention.

F. An ultrasound machine? Really? Are you kidding me? An effing ultrasound machine?

The tube

Mr. Barone: "My symptoms all get worse around 8:30.”

Dr. Grumpy: "Didn't we talk about this at your last visit? I suggested taking your pills at 8:00, to see if that helped. Did you try it?"

Mr. Barone: "It doesn't work. I can't take them at 8:00.”

Dr. Grumpy: "Why not?"

Mr. Barone: "I'll miss the beginning of "Everybody Loves Raymond."