A-Z

GOALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Ms. Fifa: "I need to make an appointment with Dr. Grumpy right away! When I exercise I get these horrible headaches! They just started last week, and I can't do anything!"

Mary: "Okay, we can see you Thursday afternoon..."

Ms. Fifa: "Oh, I can't come in then. That's when I play soccer."

I have a bad feeling about this

Dr. Grumpy: "What medications are you on?"

Mr. Scattered: "I don't know. Whatever my girlfriend puts in my pill cup."

Dr. Grumpy (to girlfriend): "What pills does he get?"

Ms. Girlfriend: "I don't know the names. Whatever his mother tells me to give him."

Dr. Grumpy: "Where can I reach your mom?"

Mr. Scattered: "She's in jail."

My dog tries for the Darwin Award

Due to the weather warming up, I decided to shut down the hot tub for the summer. It's a big round thing, so I drained it and stood it on its side to dry.

Mello saw it standing there, and, to my astonishment, decided it was a giant hamster wheel. So she immediately jumped in it and began running.

This was a disaster in the making.

She actually got it about 20 feet across the yard before the whole thing fell over upside down, trapping her under it.

It was pretty hard not to laugh at the muffled "woof" of astonishment as I went over to free her.

Moron dog.

Hmmm. Christopher Lee just turned 90...

While doing an online survey about Parkinson's Disease treatments yesterday, I encountered this question about 2/3 of the way through. I can only assume it's to see if I was paying attention:

Rimshot

Dr. Grumpy: "Where is the pain?"

Mr. Youngman: "In my left buttock."

Dr. Grumpy: "When did it start?"

Mr. Youngman: "When I married Mrs. Youngman."

Annie's desk

Annie: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Annie."

Mr. Ivac: "Yeah, I need the phone number for the infusion center."

Annie: "We don't have an infusion center at our office."

Mr. Ivac: "I KNOW THAT! I'm talking about the infusion center by Farfaraway Hospital. I need to check on my appointment."

Annie: "Did we refer you there?"

Mr. Ivac: "Hell no! I'm not even your patient! I see Dr. Darth."

Annie: "So why are you calling our office?"

Mr. Ivac: "Because I need the phone number for the infusion suite! Can't you look it up for me?"

Annie: "Okay, but..."

Mr. Ivac: "You people are wasting my time. I'm glad you're not my neurologist." (click)