Random pictures

Today is a holiday here in the states (our equivalent of May Day). I understand many countries have parades on May Day. In America we traditionally watch sporting events on television and grill/eat large amounts of beef.

Anyway, since I'm busy fixing the barbecue so Mrs. Grumpy can cook a yak, I'm just putting up pictures my readers have sent.

(click on images to enlarge)


First, a reader in Arizona found this headline in her local online paper. Apparently the Mesa School District is trying to find new teachers. And with good reason:




Next, we have this delicious looking snack for neurologists and zombies:







To prove that the "City of Brotherly Love" is still alive and well, a reader from Philadelphia sent in a note he found on his windshield:






And, finally, for those new parents out there trying to save money, Amazon is selling used diapers:

Sunday reruns

People use different phrases to mean the same thing. Case in point: migraines.



Some patients say "I have migraines". Others say "I get migraines". Occasionally one will use the odd phrase (at least to me) "I take migraines" to mean the same thing (I always want to ask who they're taking them from).



But today I had a lady who used a more, uh interesting, phrase.



When she gets a migraine she has to go lie down in a dark room (which is common). So, for whatever reason, she uses this act to refer to the migraine.



In other words: when she gets a migraine, she calls it "going down".



It is remarkably hard to keep a straight face when the young lady across from me says things like:



"I went down 3 times last week."



"July was awful. I spent the entire month going down".



"I went down on Saturday. I had to do it in front of my kids, too."



And, as she was leaving, she said, "I feel another one coming on. I just know I'll be going down tonight, but have to wait until my husband gets home."

Memories...

In 1997 I was in Boston for a neurology meeting.



One morning I was walking from my hotel to the meeting, and stopped at a Starbucks on the way. After getting my order I sat down by the window to glance through a newspaper.



Suddenly an ambulance, sirens and lights on, came flying down the street outside at warp speed.



It screeeeeched to a stop in the middle of the street. 2 guys got out of the front, walked into the Starbucks, and waited patiently in line. They left the ambulance running in the middle of the street (blocking traffic) with the sirens and lights on.



When they got up to the counter, one used his radio and called the guy in the back with the patient to see what he wanted them to get him.



They got their order, walked back out, squealed the tires, and drove away at warp speed.



I was the only one there who seemed at all surprised.

Mary, bring me a strong drink

Mr. Pill: "I didn't take it. The lady at the drugstore told me it had all kinds of side effects, and that I shouldn't even try it."



Dr. Grumpy: "The pharmacist said that?"



Mr. Pill: "No. It was a lady behind me in the check-out line. She was buying cigarettes."

Wild times

In the past I published an article about a guy who was dating a carwash vacuum cleaner.



And who can forget the touching romance between a man and his patio table?



This week we had a guy elope with a plastic pool raft.



Part of the problem may be that people just seem to keep losing their undies.



This sad problem of keeping your pants on is even affecting the mayor.

Don't we all

Dr. Grumpy: "Any major illnesses run in your family?"



Mr. Son: "Yeah, both my parents lived until they died."

Definitely not my field

Dr. Grumpy: "Do you have a copy of your most recent labs?"



Mrs. Whiskers: "Yes, here they are" (pulls papers out of purse, hands them to me).



Her lab values were all abnormal, but the normal ranges listed weren't what I'm used to, either. None of them made sense. I was trying to figure this out when I noticed the patient information in the upper corner:



Name: Sparkles

Age: 5 Y, 3 M

Species: Feline



Dr. Grumpy: "Um, I think these are your cat's labs."



Mrs. Whiskers: "Oh, hang on. I have mine here, somewhere..." (starts digging in purse).