Instead of a regular post...
With this year's July 4th fireworks behind us, here are some of the odder explosive-related news stories I've been sent.
1. A guy who tried modifying them in his kitchen.
2. A school with an explosive way of starting classes.
3. A gentlemen who, in lieu of regular fireworks, lit a military-grade explosive (not for the squeamish).
السبت، 9 يوليو 2011
الجمعة، 8 يوليو 2011
Pick-up lines from a pizza
I'd like to thank Webhill for sending in this picture from a pizza place.
(click to enlarge)
(click to enlarge)
Concern
Mrs. Regan-Goneril: "Hello?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Hi, Mrs. Regan-Goneril, this is Dr. Grumpy, the neurologist taking care of your mom. We met last night at the hospital. I wanted to update you on her condition, as things have changed in the last few hours, and..."
Mrs. Regan-Goneril: "I'm at the salon. Just tell me in one word what is wrong with my mother, because I'm busy and they haven't even done my nails yet."
Dr. Grumpy: "Hi, Mrs. Regan-Goneril, this is Dr. Grumpy, the neurologist taking care of your mom. We met last night at the hospital. I wanted to update you on her condition, as things have changed in the last few hours, and..."
Mrs. Regan-Goneril: "I'm at the salon. Just tell me in one word what is wrong with my mother, because I'm busy and they haven't even done my nails yet."
الخميس، 7 يوليو 2011
Wednesday night, 11:28 p.m.
My cell phone rings. It's the hospital ID.
Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy."
Voice: "Please hold for Dr. Brain."
(pause)
Dr. Brain: "Hello? Ibee?"
Dr. Grumpy: "What are you doing? I thought you were in the hospital for knee surgery."
Dr. Brain: "I am, but I have a question. Are you taking care of the confused guy in room 23, who keeps screaming?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Um, yeah, why?"
Dr. Brain: "I need you to call in a sedative for him. I'm in room 24, and he's keeping me up. Let me get you his nurse."
Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy."
Voice: "Please hold for Dr. Brain."
(pause)
Dr. Brain: "Hello? Ibee?"
Dr. Grumpy: "What are you doing? I thought you were in the hospital for knee surgery."
Dr. Brain: "I am, but I have a question. Are you taking care of the confused guy in room 23, who keeps screaming?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Um, yeah, why?"
Dr. Brain: "I need you to call in a sedative for him. I'm in room 24, and he's keeping me up. Let me get you his nurse."
الأربعاء، 6 يوليو 2011
Random memories of Monday
For Independence Day the Grumpys went to a local fair with rides and music and places to let your kids burn off energy while waiting for the fireworks to start.
We stopped at Local Grocery to buy tickets and pick up some tomatoes. Inside a couple in the floral section was fighting LOUDLY.
What was the dispute?
She was insisting that July 4th is one of those holidays where you're supposed to buy your wife/girlfriend flowers.
Now, I can understand this if it happened to also be her birthday. Or their anniversary. But it was pretty clear from their screaming that it was neither.
I didn't get it, either.
__________________________________
At the fair several sponsoring businesses had set up booths to advertise their stuff. One was from Local Cancer Treatment Center, where a lady handed out pamphlets and told people about their new treatment and research protocols.
During the entire time she never stopped smoking.
__________________________________
One booth was handing out prizes to kids who scored a bullseye. Winners had their choice of candy, a little stuffed animal, an airplane toy, or sunscreen.
They definitely weren't going to run out of sunscreen.
We stopped at Local Grocery to buy tickets and pick up some tomatoes. Inside a couple in the floral section was fighting LOUDLY.
What was the dispute?
She was insisting that July 4th is one of those holidays where you're supposed to buy your wife/girlfriend flowers.
Now, I can understand this if it happened to also be her birthday. Or their anniversary. But it was pretty clear from their screaming that it was neither.
I didn't get it, either.
__________________________________
At the fair several sponsoring businesses had set up booths to advertise their stuff. One was from Local Cancer Treatment Center, where a lady handed out pamphlets and told people about their new treatment and research protocols.
During the entire time she never stopped smoking.
__________________________________
One booth was handing out prizes to kids who scored a bullseye. Winners had their choice of candy, a little stuffed animal, an airplane toy, or sunscreen.
They definitely weren't going to run out of sunscreen.
Dear Ms. Patient,
I'm sorry to hear you've fired me, and that you're irate you owe me $200.
You've been here 3 times in the last 6 weeks for various issues. Each time, as per office procedure, Mary asked if your insurance or address had changed, and each time you said no.
Last week we learned that not only HAD your insurance changed, but it was to a plan I don't take.
When my billing service called you about this, your reaction was "well, if my last insurance covered him, my new one should." Wrong.
And you just left Mary a scathing voicemail claiming that it's OUR fault for just taking your word on the insurance, instead of demanding that we see a copy of your card at every visit. Silly us, we assumed you'd tell us if it changed. That's why we ask each time.
I also loved the part about you threatening to turn me into the state board and "giving you bad reviews on all the internet rating sites" if I didn't forgive the $200.
This is no different than shoplifting. If you stole $200 worth of merchandise from a store, they'd press criminal charges. I can't do that, but I can turn you over to collections. I don't care if you're stupid, pretending to be stupid, or just malicious, but this is what I do for a living. You were more than happy to accept my treatments, and signed a bill after each visit.
Have a nice day.
You've been here 3 times in the last 6 weeks for various issues. Each time, as per office procedure, Mary asked if your insurance or address had changed, and each time you said no.
Last week we learned that not only HAD your insurance changed, but it was to a plan I don't take.
When my billing service called you about this, your reaction was "well, if my last insurance covered him, my new one should." Wrong.
And you just left Mary a scathing voicemail claiming that it's OUR fault for just taking your word on the insurance, instead of demanding that we see a copy of your card at every visit. Silly us, we assumed you'd tell us if it changed. That's why we ask each time.
I also loved the part about you threatening to turn me into the state board and "giving you bad reviews on all the internet rating sites" if I didn't forgive the $200.
This is no different than shoplifting. If you stole $200 worth of merchandise from a store, they'd press criminal charges. I can't do that, but I can turn you over to collections. I don't care if you're stupid, pretending to be stupid, or just malicious, but this is what I do for a living. You were more than happy to accept my treatments, and signed a bill after each visit.
Have a nice day.
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